Ethnography Paper

Ethnography: Teacher

For my ethnography paper I did research on a teacher (Libby Bray) who chose to stay at home for 10 years and raise her kids. She just recently went back to work now that her youngest is in 4th grade. She is a remarkable woman who gave me wonderful advice about the hard decision of having to choose between work and family, which is the central concept of my paper. I am very interested in learning why women choose to stay at home with their kids and sacrifice their careers that they worked so hard for. I picked this topic because of my interest in it and also because I feel that I might have to sacrifice my job one day to stay at home and take care of my kids. I have always wanted to be a mom and feel that I would choose to be a stay at home and raise my kids. I wanted to ask very detailed questions so that I could come up with an answer to this question: "Why do women choose to stay at home and sacrifice their careers?"

Questions:

1) Did you feel pressure to get married and have kids? Not really, I have always wanted to be a Mom so I just told myself to be patient and it would happen. The only time I felt a little bit pressured was when my friends started getting married and having kids.

2)How old were you when you got married? 27

3) How soon after you were married did you have kids? We waited a year.

4) Did you have any friend that had to sacrifice a family for their job? Yes, many of them did. One of my best friends is college was a lawyer and she chose to excell in her career instead of have kids.

5) Do you think this is a difficult choice for women? Yes, this is such a hard decision for many to make. But, I believe that a mother should stay at home with her kids and raise them. I think it is a man's job to be the provider and the woman should take care of the kids. I'm a little old fashioned...I think that we would have less problems in our world today if mothers' stayed at home and raised their kids rights. I think that if a mother is not at home watching her child, that the child is more likely to get into trouble.

6) Did you make your career choice based on your want to have kids? I guess you could say a little bit. I always wanted to be a teacher, but also always wanted to have a family. I thought about these things a lot throughout college. I think young girls should think about this when in college. As long as you're thinking about it you're on the right track.

7) Why do you think women choose to stay at home and leave their career? Because children become their #1 priority. You want to raise your kids right and if you leave them in the care of someone you don't know...you never know what they will be taught. By staying at home, you can raise your kids the way you want. This has a huge influence over what kind of person they turn into when they are older.

I began observing Mrs. Bray when I arrived at The Highlands School at 8 am on Friday March 13th. She is a 3rd grade teacher who teaches about 20 girls (the girls and boys are taught in different buildings). Her day consisted of teaching the girls many different subjects, passing back papers, and also grading many papers. This is her first year back after being a stay at home mom and she told me that she "couldn't have been happier" because her kids also go to The Highlands. She said she really enjoys teaching again and is happy that her kids are in the same location as her. According to my research and observation, I came to the conclusion that many women choose to stay at home and raise a family because they see children as more important than working. I agree with Mrs. Bray that it is vital to raise your own children because you never know how they could be raised otherwise. Something that could be missing from my research, however, could be more sources since I only observed one woman who was extremely steadfast in her beliefs. An anthropologist could get more information about this issue by interviewing and observing more women. I really enjoyed doing this project and feel that I learned a lot from Mrs. Bray. She truly gave me a lot of insight about choosing between a family and working.

Blog 8

In "The Opt-Out Revolution", Belkin describes how successful women have to put their prestigious careers on hold so that they can raise families. One response to Belkin's article, by Mrs. Granju, protests Belkin as narrow-minded because she only sees one side of the issue. Personally, I think that Belkin's article is extremely disheartening because women clearly have to sacrifice so much to have a family. It is almost impossible to raise a family while having a high-career job such as a doctor or lawyer. As a result, this puts tension on women. My Mom had to sacrifice her career so that she could raise me and my brothers. She was a nurse and when she was pregnant with me she decided that staying at home with me was the most important thing. She just recently went back to work at another hospital and is very pleased with her decision. I think that I would make the same decision that my mom made because I really want to stay at home and take care of my family.


Readings ch. 6 & 9:

In both readings it discusses women in the work force and their effect on the world as either a stay at home mom or as a mother in the work force. Personally, I want to be a stay at home mom and have a big family to take care of. At the same time I also want to be in the workforce and have a high-career job. I can easily see why women have this feeling of being torn between being a stay at home mom and working. For my ethnography paper, I interviewed a woman who chose to sacrifice her career so that she could be a stay at home mom. She recently just started working again...she hadn't worked for 20 years because she was taking care of her kids. I cannot wait to share more of the insight she gave me in my ethnography paper.

Blog 7

About a week ago I watched the movie Sex in the City and definitely thought that there was a lot of gender stereotyping involved. The movie, like the show, definitely portrays women as shopping addicts who move to New York for the sole reason of "labels and love". However, the four best friends are all stereotyped in extremely different ways. Carrie is seen as the woman who is independent and strong yet still needs a man in her life. Charlotte is the typical housewife who gets to stay home while her husband is the "provider". Miranda is the woman who can provide for herself and doesn't think that she needs a man. Lastly, Samantha is the woman who acts like a man because she always wants to have instant sexual gratification. The movie was definately advertised in a very feminine way and was geared towards women because it is all about women and their search for love. Women, unlike men, can really relate to this because every woman dreams of a lifestlye like one of the ladies in Sex in the City. The movie portrays their life as exciting and wonderful. After watching the trailer I thought that the movie would definitely make women want to go out and see it. Our society teaches women that they should like designer things and should strive to be able to afford it someday. As a result, this makes women want to go out and see this movie. In the movie, gender relations are strictly heterosexual and stereotype what society thinks a couple should be like. All of the couples are super attractive, happy, and centered around sex.

Reading:

In chapter 9 of Feminism is for Everybody, I agreed with hooks in that equal pay is an important factor, but not necessarily a huge one. I think that as a society we need to focus first and foremost on men and women attaining the same kinds of jobs without men looking down on women. Then, we need to work on making pay equal for both sexes. If we focus on gender inequality we can go further.

In the F-word, it made me sad when I read about boy children being valued more then girl children. That personally offends me because I am a girl, but also because I disagree. I was shocked when I read that parents are more likely to get a divorce with a girl child than a boy. I think that girls realize at a young age that they are more "pampered" than boys. I realized this when I was little through they way people treated me and acted towards me. I remember sitting in my room playing with my dolls while my brothers played outside. I feel that girls are given more things and more often given what they want. Nowadays, we hear that when a girl wants something she goes to her "daddy"and more often than not he gives her what she wants.

Blog 6

I feel that this is a very controversial image because it portrays women as sexual creatures who are willing to let a man take control of them. In this picture the man is holding the woman up against a door and pressing her into it. I feel that this portrays the woman as a weak and fragile being who will let men take advantage of her for sexual pleasure. I also feel that the man is trying to "turn her on" by blowing into her ear so that she will want to have a sexual relationship with him.The name of the perfume also makes me a little angry because the name "unforgivable woman" has a negative connotation. Unforgivable means too bad/cruel to be excused and this ad makes is seems as if the woman is the one who is unforgivable.

I could not believe my eyes when I found this advertisement! Like the other advertisement, it shows women as sexual beings who only care about pleasing men. This picture is an ad for suits saying "A custom-tailored suit is a natural aphrodisiac". I feel that this is extremely offensive because an aphrodisiac is a substance that is used to increase sexual desire. So, the advertisement company is saying that a suit can make a woman more attracted in a sexual way to a man. I think that when men see this ad they are going to think that they need a custon-tailored suit because "women will want them." This ad definitely makes me mad because it is making women look like horny tramps. The woman in the ad is only wearing a bathrobe over lingerie and it is practically falling off of her. She is also teasing the man by yanking his tie and acting like she is about to kiss him. I am unhappy with the way woman are portrayed in both of these ads.

Reading:

I definitely agree with what Wolfe said about the way women show themselves off and how it has changed in society today. In the past, I feel that women dressed a lot differently than women dress nowadays. When you turn on the tv, you can turn to practically any channel and find that women are wearing clothes that show off their breasts and butt. On my favorite show, 90210, the two main girls are so skinny that their clothes are practically hanging off of them. They are sickly skinny, but our society thinks that skinny is beautiful. When flipping through magazines almost every ad is full of girls who are skinny, tall, and tan. They also usually have long, flowing hair that is ususally blonde or brunette. I think that this makes girls so self-conscious and feel far from perfect. I also hate how this is the stereotype that men think they need in a woman. If she doesn't fit they skinny, beautiful hair, tan stereotype they won't even give her the time of day. One time last year I was at a party and I started talking to this really cute guy. We hit it off and started hanging out and even dating. A few months later he told me that he wouldn't of walked up and started talking to me if I would of had "a beer belly." I was kind of hurt by this comment because it meant that he was only interested because of my looks. It taught me a lot, however, because men are greatly affected by the stereotypes of feminine beauty that are put in their heads. I really think that we need to change this stereotype of women.